Jeff Bezos is stepping down. How will he try to rule the world now?
It’s no secret that Jeff Bezos has become one of the most wealthy men in the world (a net worth of $182 billion… nbd). With Amazon’s Q4 earnings report surpassing $100B, 2021 is shaping up to be the year he pulls out all the stops!
Oh, shit, actually nm- he is actually stepping down.
He is still going to be on Amazon’s board, but I’m wondering… what is he going to do with all this free time? When my mom retired, she joined a singing group for older people who like to harmonize and do occasional body percussion. My dad reads a lot of books about WW2. (Dad, I’m just saying, the war ends the same way each time.)
Jeff Bezos has the potential to actually fully evolve into Dr. Evil with his newfound freedom… He’s got the money, the weird space-related goals, same haircut. Hopefully, those are all misleading details and he will use his time (and fortune) for the good of all. Bezos said in a letter to his Amazon employees, that he was going to, “focus on the Day 1 Fund, the Bezos Earth Fund, Blue Origin, The Washington Post, and his other passions.”.
But I also wonder- what do rich people do when they are ready to relax and spend more quality time with their possessions?
Bill Gates has a mansion with a trampoline room. Stephen Cohen spent $110 million on a picture of what I am certain is a super nice flag. My neighbor Kenny got a ride-on lawnmower last weekend that he seems pretty jazzed about.
If it were me, I would probably do some damage in Bezo’s stomping grounds, amazon.com. You can actually purchase some wildly expensive things on here- like this rug for $400,000. Just hope your dog doesn’t piss on it. For that kind of money it better piss on your dog.
So, congrats Jeff! We’d give you a gold watch… but you already own literal chunks of Seattle. Let’s all just agree that when he starts looking into laser technology after he buys Seaworld, we should start asking some questions.
